guiltless rest

Ever feel like you’re at your threshold? Trying your best but spinning your wheels? Organizing the to do list instead of doing the thing that needs to do’ing? Casting the net wide rather than deep?

My shoulders have been tighter than ever, my body carrying the load that I can convince myself mentally I have under control. I’m able to handle things with grace until I can’t, I’m energized and on top of it until I’m not, and the gap in between those ends is shorter than it used to be.

The weight of the invisible feels overwhelming when I don’t take the time to slow down and rest. Yet, a lot of the time, the rest is not enough. It is marred by guilt. It feels unproductive. It is the sort of unsatisfying sleeps that leave you longing for more.

But I’m changing my narrative and making rest and slowing down a priority once again - I’m so incredibly done with societal expectations - like fed up with, yes, but also done as in won’t-bring-that-energy-to-my-cells-anymore. And standing up to that feels like a bold, radical rebellion. (Anyone else in?!)

So guiltless rest has been, ironically, on my to do list. I’ve never before felt SO at home during the winter solstice, almost mourning the fact that the days will start to get longer as I’ve been luxuriating in the fewer daylight hours and giving my animal body what it is craving - less, slow, quiet and all other adjectives that are against the go-go-go.

Here have been a few of my faves so far this holiday season -

-day reading - bonus points for fiction.

-PJs during breakfast AND lunch.

-Not answering / looking at my phone when it buzzes.

-not overcommitting to plans.

-scheduling sleep in days.

What would you add?